What do men really want? What are you offering!

A women recently wrote to me via my free dating site to ask, ” What do men really want!”.
Well let’s have a go at answering from the perspective of a heterosexual man.
What a man wants (from a woman) all depends on the man, his stage in life and his mood at that moment. However, it also depends on what is on offer.
Men sometimes find it baffling that a woman will wear something revealing and then be offended when a guy takes time to really look at what she is showing. If a woman wears, say, a revealing top it is very tempting for a man to want to have a good look at the marvels on display. Yet, many women get offended if he does.
“Goodness”, he wonders, “She wants me to look as her hair when she spends time on it so why not the other bits too….”
Of course, I’m being flippant here. Most sensible men understand that a woman hates to be oggled. However, his basic instinct is to oggle so why encourage it if you don’t want it?
Most men, deep down, really want a healthy relationship with a healthy woman. A leading male guru, who helps men get better at dating women, says that around 80% of men who come to him do so they can win the heart of that special women when they find her. The majority of men are not wanting to get into dating as a game, but to find a life partner.
If, however, a man meets a woman who dress style says ‘I am hot for sex’ – where do you think his focus will go? Of course it might develop into something deeper, but such behaviour will tend to attract men who are mostly interested in what is being advertised – sex. And, it will tend to distort the attitude and priorities of men we genuinely interested in a life partner.
The fashion industry confuses the picture as sometimes the current fashion is to reveal a lot. This can cause a wave of befuddlement in men as they try to think with a part of their anatomy not suitable for thinking processes. “I would like to find a nice girl…oh wow… look at that hottie…hey darlin’…”
Some men are only interested in women for sex. No matter how a women dresses, or the wonders of her charm and intelligence, sex will be foremost on the mind of that kind of guy. But, that is really the minority as such an attitude tends to be – at most – a passing phase for the majority of men. However, it can be a recurring passing phase.
In dating you tend to get that for which you advertise. If a woman ‘advertises’ herself by emphasising her sexual attraction she will experience the results of that. If she downplays her sexual attraction somewhat (at least on the first date or two) and emphasises her personality then she will stand a much better chance of either attracting a man who is looking for something deeper, or of bringing that out in some of the men she meets (“Hey, maybe I ought to quit playing around and get serious with this one…”).
More on this topic later…:)

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